It’s hardly child abuse to refrain from asking others to entertain the possibility that your toddler son will one day enjoy taking it up the ass.

The best way for a straight man to demonstrate to a straight woman that anal sex can be mutually pleasurable—that it’s not (necessarily) about dominance and degradation—is to do the gentlemanly thing and go first.

Female sexuality is a fluid and male sexuality is a solid, says Dan Savage, while misleading photos are unfair to the person misled and set the sender up for devastating rejections.

If you’ve tried to find porn that caters to your special needs without much luck, then chances are that the porn you’re looking for simply doesn’t exist.

Things get better as you get older. People are assholes in their 20s, and pouring alcohol into assholes doesn’t make ’em stink less.

After all, kids, the same vengeful, sex-obsessed, entirely fictitious God who disapproves of premarital sex also disapproves of any and all “nonintercourse ways” of getting your boyfriend off, says Dan Savage.

Kinks should always be presented as perks, as something that makes you a more interesting and fun sex partner, not as something that makes you a defective or problematic sex partner, says Dan Savage.

We can spend all day worrying about terrifying new sex technologies that have yet to be developed—virtual fuck buddies, horse-hung sexbots—or we can cross those terrifying bridges when we come to, on, or in them.

The gay-marriage decision and her boyfriend’s aborted decision to serve as sperm donor for a lesbian couple have nothing whatsoever to do with each other, and her efforts to link them only make this reader look like a nutcase.

With some effort and some balls, sex can return to a barren marriage; don't panic over marriage proposals; and why the religious right are praying for divine judgment on the latest round of gay marriages States-side.

The following is a special Web supplement to Dan Savage’s regular column. Users are reminded that any links below are independent from Vancouver Free Press Publishing Corporation, and we do not endorse, control, or make any representations, warranties, or conditions concerning their contents or links.

The secret to ensuring that a threesome fails, how to approach dating with a lust for bondage, and the secret to a successful kink: never give up.

The following is a special Web supplement to Dan Savage’s regular column. Users are reminded that any links below are independent from Vancouver Free Press Publishing Corporation, and we do not endorse, control, or make any representations, warranties, or conditions concerning their contents or links.

With the exception of the 12-year-old “brides” of creepy “fundamentalist” Mormon fucksticks, a little getting dumped into each life must fall. And you know what? Getting dumped is good for us.

Masturbation isn’t something that happens to you--it’s not a tax audit or a flat tire or a meteor strike. It’s something you decide to do, and is part of adult married life.

Just like we do with everyone, we tend to assume folks with disabilities are straight and just want to have penile-vaginal intercourse and some oral sex. We’re almost always wrong.

Open relationships are great, but they're not for everyone; why you should tell the truth about herpes; and why fucking around for "manpussy" is bad for everyone.

The AIDS virus isn’t fire and gay men aren’t twigs; it doesn’t matter how vigorously you rub us against each other, we’re not going to suddenly burst into HIV.

The following is a special Web supplement to Dan Savage’s regular column. Users are reminded that any links below are independent from Vancouver Free Press Publishing Corporation, and we do not endorse, control, or make any representations, warranties, or conditions concerning their contents or links.

Dan Savage takes questions on marriage from a geezer in love and a woman with a lonely ring finger, and helps out a girlfriend who’s just looking for a little light bondage.

The coming of fuckbots is going to make fantasies that are currently unrealizable for reasons of biology, logistics, or morality suddenly very, very realizable.

Hey, everybody: If you missed last week’s column, I’m taking a week off because, well, go read last week’s column if you care to know. Here’s an old column to tide you over.

Dan Savage struggles to write a column and finds a fitting space among the escort ads to eulogize his mother.

Dan Savage addresses a husband threatened by a lesbian, a woman concerned for a freaked boyfriend, and divorcee looking for the next Mr. Right.

The following is a special Web supplement to Dan Savage’s regular column. Users are reminded that any links below are independent from Vancouver Free Press Publishing Corporation, and we do not endorse, control, or make any representations, warranties, or conditions concerning their contents or links.

Regular Savage Love readers are schooled in the art of spotting bullshit letters. So here’s the letter, kids—let’s see if you can spot the clues.

Dan Savage on surgery scars and his Real Time misunderstanding.

Dan Savage takes questions from the young, gay, and restless.

Open marriages work, but only sometimes—just like, um, what are those other things that only work sometimes called again? Oh, right: closed marriages.

At first glance, I am the guy your mother wants you to marry: successful, sweet, clean-shaven. Below the surface, I am the guy your mother warned you about: pierced tongue, tattoos, and enough kinks to make a porn star blush. A couple of months ago, I met a woman who wanted to be a sex slave.

Readers respond to Dan's recent column regarding the illegality of vibrators in some states.

The following is a special Web supplement to Dan Savage’s regular column. Users are reminded that any links below are independent from Vancouver Free Press Publishing Corporation, and we do not endorse, control, or make any representations, warranties, or conditions concerning their contents or links.

I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 30. He’s been married three times and has six children from a variety of women. I know, I know, it sounds bad. But he’s one of those guys who wanted a family. Anyway, long story short, I feel insecure because he has had a million experiences and I have not. So I asked him to take his porn off our computer. He did so.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months and we’re crazy about each other. He’s been slowly introducing me to butt play. Last night, we were verbally playing out an anal scenario. He asked if I’d be okay using a strap-on with him, to which I replied, “Of course!” Then he said that he had a harness and dildo in the closet. I balked. This brought up two specific issues for me.

[Read the original column.]

I hope you can help me. I am a 39-year-old divorced mother of four. I’m also a grandmother. I’ve started seeing a younger man, age 25, only a few years older than my oldest kid. We hit it off great, and other than the sex, everything is beautiful.

I’m a 20-year-old bi girl and I’ve been with my boyfriend a little over a year. We’ve talked about having an FFM threesome, but the first time we talked about it, we realized that we were not on the same page, and now every time I try to bring up the possibilities of a threesome, we end up in an argument.

Eric Rescorla, a reader who won the right to answer questions in Savage Love in a charity auction, subs for Dan this week.

Dan on zoophiles, GOP hopeful Mike Huckabee, drunk mommies, and the crazy “flesh-eating” MRSA strain.

The following is a special Web supplement to Dan Savage’s regular column. Users are reminded that any links below are independent from Vancouver Free Press Publishing Corporation, and we do not endorse, control, or make any representations, warranties, or conditions concerning their contents or links.

While visiting my family for the holidays, my 72-year-old father informed me that a 29-year-old Russian woman was coming to America to be with him. He could hardly contain his excitement. Dad didn’t want me to tell my brother and sister because he knew they would be critical of him being with a 29-year-old Russian virgin. He’s correct. They would judge him. But I couldn’t care less who he fucks.

Please disregard my previous e-mail. As of the new year, my girlfriend is no longer a virgin.

I'm 19, female, bisexual, and have been with the same guy for a year and things are great. I came home for Christmas and he went to his parents' house, and I'll see him in a few weeks. For Christmas, my mom got me some typical "mom" gifts–socks and underwear–but the panties had Disney princesses on them. I feel like a pedophile just owning them! I get it: she doesn't like the idea that I might be having sex, especially with the alarming rate that babies are popping out of teenage girls–but come on. 

There’s no such thing as risk-free sex. Hell, there’s no such thing as risk-free anything. Hamburgers, snowboarding, sex—all risky activities. So what do we do? We take reasonable steps to reduce our risks

I'm a 21-year-old female and I know the my-boyfriend-has-a-diaper-fetish thing has been done to death. But…

I was reading over what you wrote and received regarding the should-he-or-shouldn’t-he-tell-his-fat-wife-to-become-less-fat question. You mentioned the fact that both women who want men and gay men suffer from being under the eyes of men. But women have the added baggage...

You give helpful and to-the-point advice to Piss Drinkers & Co., Dan, but you have trouble with the ages-old issue of male-female communication.

"Blessed with a girlfriend who is game for a three-way, you botched it by breaching a cardinal threesome commandment," says Vicki Vantoch. That commandment? Thou shalt communicate. "Your girlfriend gave you a golden opportunity and you screwed up by making assumptions. When it comes to threesomes, it’s critical to not leave any room to misread intentions. You can’t know exactly what your girlfriend is cool with unless you ask for specifics. So, before you stick your tongue down your new friend’s throat, ask your girlfriend. You need to ask a lot of questions. If you’re unsure about what’s okay with your girlfriend, pull out the dry-erase board and ask; draw out a game plan; write a checklist of approved behaviours."

I am usually an admirer of your advice, but with An Unmarried Woman you got it wrong, big time, on so many levels. She’s the one who complained that her boyfriend was perfect in every way except sexually, where he was too vanilla

The following is a special Web supplement to Dan Savage’s regular column, which appears in the print version of the Georgia Straight. Users are reminded that any links below are independent from Vancouver Free Press Publishing Corporation, and we do not endorse, control, or make any representations, warranties, or conditions concerning their contents or links.