If George Michael didn’t enjoy the kind of life that used to make Robin Leach cream his slacks on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, we might actually feel sorry for him. The dude born Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou not only has alarmingly perfect teeth and, at age 45, most of his hair, he’s sold over 100 million records over the course of his career. That means he’s scanned approximately 999,028 more albums than his former Wham! partner Andrew Ridgeley, who today is better known for swallowing raw sewage while surfing than anything involving music. Still, the great equalizer in all this is that no one thinks twice about following Ridgeley into a public washroom. Michael—at GM Place on Friday (July 4)—on the other hand is just as famous for playing “I’ll show you mine, you show me yours” in a Los Angeles park crapper as he is for “Faith”. It’s almost enough to make us feel sorry for him.