If you love retro-inspired swimsuits, but just wish they did more for your ass and legs, then TrunkShow designer Misty Greer is your girl. The local pinup style maven recently launched a new line of swimsuits that mixes a punk rock meets Bettie Page ethos with contemporary cuts that accentuate the positive. This means no more bottoms that slash straight across the thigh, a design that essentially shortens even the longest of legs and squares even the roundest of onions.

“That’s what always struck me about them [vintage-inspired swimsuits]—is they come off a bit matronly and there’s so much fabric a lot of the time,” says Greer, who sat down with the Straight to talk about her beach-wear endeavour at Scout Boutique (152 East 8th Avenue). That’s where she’s selling her ready-to-wear bikinis ($120) and one-pieces ($165). It’s also where, for the next two Mondays, she will be on duty and taking custom orders at no extra charge.

“And I think,” she continues, “what sort of turns off the modern fashionista—for lack of a better word—from anything retro-inspired is that frump that you sometimes get with it.”

Well, you won’t find any frump or extraneous coverage on these suits. In fact, at first glance, some of her designs look like they’re defying gravity merely by staying on the body. That’s because a key component to this collection is the nude fishnet material she uses strategically to create false impressions of bare skin.

“That’s kind of what I was hoping when I found it—I was like, ”˜Yes, this needs to be the staple fabric that runs throughout,’ ” says the Kwantlen Polytechnic University grad, who launched her sassy glam-meets-Misfits clothing line a couple of years ago specifically for “the everyday showgirl”. “I want that split second of, ”˜Is she naked? How is that ruffle staying on her ass? I don’t understand.’ ”

Her Illusion design in particular will no doubt elicit plenty of those kinds of reactions. Here we have a pull-on one-piece that is mostly nude mesh with nothing but a small, ruffled patch of red tiger-print metallic fabric to cover the crack at the back and an hourglass-shaped panel on the front to cover the other important bits.

“It’s actually my favourite because it’s scandalous,” admits the charismatic designer. “I had it on and my husband was like, ”˜You look naked!’ And I was like, ”˜Mission accomplished!’ ”

Her most contemporary design is the Twist, a simple black, faux-snake-print one-piece with a keyhole cutout in front and a twisted nude bandeau top, as well as a nude panel over the crotch area. This one will surely get some second takes—as well as a lot of takers. After all, Greer has done the impossible with this design: she’s made a suit that will appeal as much to Maxim magazine types as it will ’50s-inspired fetish fans.

Her most vintage-looking suit is the Heart Shaped one-piece with a double-string neck tie to hold it up. As the name suggests, she plays the skin-toned fishnet in a deep “heart-shaped” frontal plunge and the rest is an awesomely glam gold metallic tiger-pattern fabric. Like most of Greer’s signature pieces, this one has plenty of playful bow ties and ruching details in all the right places. Bettie Page would be proud. But the fact that this suit will surely be a fave among the burlesque set isn’t necessarily Greer’s top priority. In other words, design comes before nostalgia.

“For me, it’s more important to have people be like, ”˜That’s a beautiful swimsuit,’ and not like, ”˜That’s a beautiful vintage swimsuit’—you know what I mean?”