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I first met Holly Hardwood seven years ago, when I moved to Victoria from Calgary to restart my life. 

I would go to fetish parties, and she frequented them, too. What started as friendship turned into love and fun adventures. We would frequently make reservations at restaurants and spas and say it was our anniversary, so after all these years, we can’t tell you the actual date! During Covid we lived together and started our OnlyFans journey. When lockdown was lifted, we jumped back into the world of full-service sex work; we planned many tours all over Canada, met so many lovely fellow companions, hosted orgies and other related events, and had many ups and downs along the way. 

Joey Love slipped into my DMs on Instagram one day in reply to a promo poster for one of the aforementioned orgies, and asked if any of our clients attending would be into a male provider. I obviously checked his page out and found a link to his OnlyFans. He piqued my interest, to say the least; Joey’s sex work resume is quite long and impressive. Stripper, pornstar, massage, full service, modelling, acting…

Obviously, I had to hit him back with an offer to film together. By that weekend we had met, filmed, and laughed more than I had in a long time. We started to hang out a lot and became close friends, helping each other through a few heartaches and hard times. We developed a deep respect and understanding for one another that I made sure I continued to put time and effort into.

Now that I’ve introduced Holly and Joey, I’m going to share a story about a little road trip I took recently. The following events, which happened over 72 hours, were extremely “enjoyable,” if you know what I mean. 

Tuesday

I flew into Toronto with my partner in grime and girlfriend, Holly, to meet Joey and celebrate Valentine’s day at our favourite place: a sex club.

Wednesday

We arrived in the afternoon to Oasis Aqua Lounge, which is an adult lifestyle club, AKA a sex club. This was Joey and I’s second time there, but Holly’s first, and we were so excited to share this experience with her. Oasis is a magical place that has two bars, an outdoor pool, a dungeon, and tons of nooks and crannies for getting into debaucherous fun. Music fills every room, as do sounds of people laughing and moaning; it’s hard to know what to do first.

I enjoy group sex so much that a place like Oasis makes me feel like a kid in a candy shop. At one point I was face-down in a very pretty woman’s nether region, while Joey was behind me and Holly was across the room with a new friend. We started to hear groaning, moaning death cries from the next room that were escalating in volume. I raised my head with a look of confused concern and made eye contact with Holly with the exact same look on her face. Joey then proceeded to poke his head around the corner to make sure that this person wasn’t actually dying. Laughing, he came back saying she was receiving a helping hand fully inserted, making her into a “human sock puppet.” I then returned to my dinner.

We were there from 2:30pm until 10pm and drove back to our place to sleep a few hours before the next day, when Joey and I were off on a 24-hour road trip to Winnipeg. He was booked for a strip show in a tiny town west of Winnipeg called Elie that had a population of 604 people. 

Thursday

I was up at 8am to start on the longest road trip of my life so far: 24 hours of switching on and off with Joey. The weather went back and forth between white-out snow, with no visible lines on the road (when I was driving), to clear skies and clear roads (when it was Joey’s turn). I would like to note I have three and a half years of driving experience and he has 22. Not sure if that’s irony or Murphy’s Law, but I definitely had white knuckles for about 12 hours.

The time seemed to drag on and the countdown of hours on the road seemed to be going backwards. The drive around the Great Lakes really puts into perspective how great they actually are.

We pulled into Winnipeg at 3pm and slept for a few hours before we headed to Elie, about 30 minutes outside of the city. There is not much to the town: a gas station, a fire hall, and a few houses. At 9pm, there were no lights around other than street lights—until we came around the corner and saw a bunch shining up into the sky. The lights belonged to a hotel and strip club (on special nights); in the back was a Mexican restaurant. This just happened to be our destination. Running on very little sleep and a whole lot of delirium, we parked in the lot and started laughing at the scene before us. 

Walking into the bar, we saw a pool table, a few video lottery terminals, and a stripper pole. It gave the feel of the only bar in town that everyone goes to; very lived-in. Joey went to get set up and I asked for a Coke, which was poured from a two-litre bottle.

Joey began dancing, and people started coming through the door; they either knew about the special strip show or were surprised with the sight of his naked, tattooed body, grinding and gyrating all around the bar. Halfway through his second show, a group of young friends came in and were greeted with a packed bar and Joey flashing his smile. I turned to a girl I was sitting with and said, “The guy in all khaki is going to ask Joey to show his dick.” Sure enough, 10 minutes later he yelled out, “SHOW US YOUR DICK!” Joey was not the type to shy away from showing off, so of course he flashed in the guy’s direction and received whoops from the crowd.

Three shows down and 36 hours of being awake later, we headed back to where we were staying and passed out. In the morning, we would be on our way to the main reason why we were in Winnipeg: Joey’s sister’s wedding.