For a long time, the opening line of Crystal Pistol's "Rockstar" rang truer than anyone in the band cared to admit. A glam-dusted stomper off the quintet's self-titled debut, the song kicks off with a simple declaration. Over jet-ignition guitar, CP's glorious mess of a singer, Mik Ireland, gets the party started by howling, "Everybody hates you when you looooove rock 'n' rolllllll." What follows is a three-and-a-half-minute, cock-rock strutter reeling off the perks that get boys in black mascara saving up for Gibson Les Pauls: limousines, swimming pools, teenage groupies, and illicit drugs. Life, of course, is nothing like that for Ireland and his bandmates, but they contend that at least one part of the song is dead accurate. If Crystal Pistol discovered anything when it staggered onto the Vancouver club scene three years ago, it's that everyone does, indeed, hate you when you love rock 'n' roll.

"We're perfectly aware that people thought we were a joke at first," Ireland says, chain-smoking Export As while inhaling pints of green St. Patrick's Day lager. "They slagged us right off the bat, accusing us of trying to be something that we weren't. Everyone thought we were a bunch of guys who read The Dirt and then decided to start a rock band."

Sporting a Skull Skates tuque, black Lords of the New Church T-shirt, and black leather jacket adorned with a KISS pin, the singer is kicking back at the Five Point, a hipster haven on Main. Equally hell-bent on punishing their livers and irreparably damaging their lungs are CP guitarist Pinto, who sports a Stooges T, and bassist Greg Laikin.

"This is the biggest group of underdogs that I've ever been involved with," Pinto says, no small statement considering he used to play with Vancouver's Saddlesores. "We've all been around the scene so long, I don't think anybody really expected anything from us."

Laikin adds: "But that didn't stop them from hating us."

What a difference a couple of years makes. Crystal Pistol hits the streets at a time when Míƒ ¶tley Críƒ ¼e is back headlining hockey rinks, Slash and Duff McKagan have rejoined the platinum club with Velvet Revolver, and the Darkness is one of the most unstoppable forces in rock 'n' roll.

"Things have totally come around to the kind of music that we've been playing," Laikin says. "For once in our lives, everything seems to be working out for us."

Released on the Universal-distributed Alert Records, Crystal Pistol is clearly made for shotgunning cans of Hi-Test and doing uncut blow off Kiss's Alive. CP comes out swinging like the Gunners during the Sunset Strip years with "Watch You Bleed", stomps on the accelerator for the hard-rock freight train that is "Locomotive", and captures the early '70s magic of the Glimmer Twins on the acoustic-tinted "Salt of the Earth". Because Crystal Pistol is salted with air-punching anthems and stadium-sized sing-along choruses, the temptation is to file it in the same section of the record store as Shout At the Devil. But listen closely and it's obvious the record is more clever than that.

"People always want to categorize us," Pinto complains.

Ireland jumps in: "They think that because you've got eyeliner on and play rock 'n' roll that we're obsessed with '80s hair metal. We're nothing like that. I grew up listening to punk music, but I also loved KISS. To me, we're not a punk band and we're not a metal band. What we are is a rock 'n' roll band. I can take a shower and go apply for a nice job, but you can't wash the rock off of me."

Along with guitarist Brian Bresett and drummer Dave Troutman, Pinto, Ireland, and Laikin have been convincing Vancouver of that one fan at a time. The only people at Crystal Pistol's early shows were a handful of doubters who came to watch the band fail. What they saw instead was a live show that was all about spilled pools of Jack Daniel's, smeared mascara, and enough back-in-black attitude to impress the Dolls. Eventually, the word started to get out. The band's reputation as one of the most hard-partying live acts in the city has now made it a rarity on the club scene: a guaranteed good time, especially for those who've never seen the point of rehab.

"We've proved ourselves to where, when I look out at the crowd, people are singing the words to my songs," Ireland says. "I've never been in a band where that's happened. I can't tell you how bizarre that is."

Pinto continues: "What's got Crystal Pistol to where it is is that we've got five songwriters. We are our own biggest critics: for every 20 songs that are brought in, two of them make it through because three guys in the band hate the rest of them. If we can all agree on a song, that probably means that there is something to it."

Rock radio certainly seems to agree, at least in Winnipeg, where Crystal Pistol is already climbing the charts with its just-released first single, "Watch You Bleed".

Renegade Canuck filmmaker Bruce McDonald also saw something he liked in the group; the man behind Hard Core Logo enlisted Crystal Pistol to play a terminally stoned basement band in his recent The Love Crimes of Gillian Guess. CP also picked up some soundtrack work for the film, teaming up with Phil Collins's offspring, Joely Collins, for a remake of Lucinda Williams's "Essence". It's all been enough to make Crystal Pistol-which plays a record-release party at the Roxy on Tuesday (March 29) at 8:30 p.m.-feel loved. Well almost.

"If I seriously have one hope, it's making some kid feel the same way about rock 'n' roll as I did when I was 15," Ireland says. He takes a slug of green beer and laughs. "But we're not doing this for money, we're certainly not doing it for fame. We're doing this so, hopefully, I don't have to go back to school and get that Grade 12 diploma. I dropped out because I thought I was gonna make it. So far, I've obviously failed." -